THE BASICS. OR AS THE HIP KIDS SAY, “THE ‘SICS”
Location: Bergen County, New Jersey
Special skills: Apple cider connoisseur, ability to eat shockingly hot peppers for a white guy, hosting the Oscars: 1991-1993, 1995
About my blog: Listen to Hall and Oates while reading, it really adds to the overall experience.
Thanks for reading?: Why yes! Thank you very much. I owe you a big hug if we ever run into each other.
Do I have a picture of myself with a wooden chicken?: Ask and ye shall receive…
FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS
– Are your initials really “A.B”? Can I call you “Alphabet Starter”?
Yes. I actually insist you do.
– Your last name rhymes with “spaghetti” and you’re from NJ. Are you Italian? Can you make me a delicious sauce?
Yes I am. But I find those to be silly Italian-American stereotypes. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to get back to my organ grinder job.
– I think I remember you from your years in the Wu-Tang Clan. Am I right?
– Do you believe in aliens?
If Jeff Goldblum and Will Smith can defeat them, I’m not too worried.
– Fruit Roll-Ups or Fruit By the Foot?
Fruit Roll-Ups. There’s no need to bring math into my snacks.
– I’m the Bee Girl from the Blind Melon video. Can I PLEASE have my costume back?